September 3, 2013 posted by littlewhitecottage

The only time I feel any sort of violence against Hubbie…

sleep picture


It’s 6am but I’ve been awake since 5.45am. To be fair I’m not sure what actually woke me up but now I’m awake there is no hope of me getting back to sleep with the noise from the creature that is sleeping beside me. Lovely, sweet Hubbie by day but the decibel breaking, huffing, puffing, snorting and gurgling ‘thing’ that he turns into at night is something I have to try to sleep next to and mostly we manage but I’m not sleeping well at the moment so I lie there watching the clock tick by knowing the dawn will come soon. Hubbie is a snorer and I am a snorer’s wife…

Weirdly he’s not always snored and I’ve always slept more soundly so I’m not sure how we’ve got to where we are. I certainly don’t remember in our 12 years of being together being woken as frequently or as nosily as I am these and for the past couple of years. I know it’s not his fault, I know he’d do anything not to cause me annoyance and we’ve tried everything going to make it stop but the only thing that really helps is when Hubbie looses weight. I’m assuming it’s got something to do with the back of his throat that it closes slightly and then the air can’t quite get through, you see sitting downstairs writing at the kitchen table in the semi darkness of a September morning I am calm and reasonable about it. It’s when I’m lying next to him that I want to punch and kick him…

I’m not an aggressive person by nature. I have a long temper but when I lose it yes I pretty much lose it but it does take a while for this to happen. I don’t and have never hit people, I’d rather win a fight with words but this is tough when the person you want to fight with is asleep. I  am lucky I fall asleep quickly so Hubbie hasn’t ever really kept me awake but woe betide me if I wake up in the night as there will be no more sleep for me.

I hear him start to breath heavily and he makes a ‘shhhh’ kind of sound and I know that the snoring will pretty much start soon. This goes on to a slight snort where the back of his throat relaxes and I can actually hear it fall against another part of his throat and this is where the air gets trapped. After that it’s a full on snore that no one could sleep through. I lie there and shove him when the ‘shhhhhhh-ing’ starts and he says ‘Hey, I’m not even snoring!!!’ and I say ‘Not know but I know from the hours of listening to you that you will pretty soon!!!’ and we both lie there in a tense, stand offish kind of way. He’s cross with me for shoving him and I am getting tense and annoyed as I’m wide awake now and I now it’s downhill from here.

Like I said it’s the only time when I really could punch his face in. There. I’ve admitted it. There is a time, after 2 hours of no sleep after a few nights where I would cheerfully punch my husbands face. Some of you will be shocked and think (quite rightly) that ‘Violence never solves anything Emma!’ and the sane, calm kitchen table writer would agree but not the tired, frustrated and annoyed Emma that sleeps next to the dinosaur/lion/tiger/weird snorting creature.

He’s moved to the spare room and also downstairs to the sitting room but this doesn’t always work as the sitting room is right above our bedroom and I can still hear him! Yes he really is that loud and I’m afraid after years of it my ears are very sensitive to his snoring and he can still wake me up even being 2 rooms away. Our third son is the same already at 4 years as if he’s snoring in the night, walk past his room with the door shut and you can still hear him…

What’s the future? I’ve no idea. For the moment more getting up at 6am to write blogs to complain about it I suppose but he’s apologetic and I am understanding that it’s not really his fault it’s just something we have to try to manage. That’s the serious side to this blog that snoring is actually a serious problem that can really affect marriages. If you don’t sleep you don’t function so well the next day if you don’t function in the day you become snappy and irritable (me!!) and this builds over time into an accumulative problem where you can be exhausted, annoyed and very angry despite loving the very bones of the person you sleep next to.

I’ll probably have an early night tonight and go to bed way before Hubbie to make sure I am really asleep before he comes up. We’ve tried this and it’s worked to get me back into the routine of sleeping and not being disturbed. Sleep to me is a necessity as I need it for my mental health. It’s as important to me as the food I eat and the air I breath and I do feel for Hubbie as he knows this and feels responsible when I, once again, get out of bed in the near darkness and stumble over to get my dressing gown. ‘Are you getting up?’ he mumbles ‘Yes’ I say ‘Otherwise I might want to punch your face in…’




  • Hi Emma
    I feel your pain. These earplugs are FABTASTIC! I’ve tried lots and these ones really block noise. They are from America.

  • My dad snores horrifically, he actually went to the doctors & they sent him to do the sleepapnia(not sure how its spelt) tests. Anyway, turns out his throat closes when he’s sleeping, which obviously stops him breathing & the snore is helping him try to breathe again!

  • I had the same problem, alas I was the snorer. I ad a sleep study done and I have sleep apnoea and now need to wear a breathing mask when going to sleep. I now sleep as sound as a baby and hubby also gets a sleep x

  • I know someone who snores and he found that Snoreeze Throat Spray really worked for him.

    • Thanks for the tip, anything is worth a try!

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