A blog a day challenge
July 1, 2013 posted by littlewhitecottage

A blog a day challenge – ‘Who are you?’

party 17I could answer this very simply with the usual ‘My name is Emma, I have 3 children, I live in a cottage and run a small sewing business…’ because really, if you want to get down to the nitty gritty of everydayness, that’s it. That’s who I am.

But I’m not sure you want to hear about the everyday nitty gritty (boring) bits of who I am and, actually, I’m not sure I really want to write just that. I’m one of those who over thinks things as I ponder, go deep into a subject and find things that weren’t even probably intended.

Who am I?

Who am I?

Who am I?

I’m the one liked to sing around the house whilst I washed up making up the lyrics as I did. I’m the one who ran round her village playing a hide and seek game for hours and hours. I’ve never been fitter…

I’m the one who used to work too much in a pub to pay the bills as a teenager and drank far too much too early. I’m the one who went to live in London aged 18 and I never went home to live properly again. I’m the one who lived on a narrowboat, learned to ride a motorbike, tried to ride a horse but I’m the one who kept falling off. I’m the one who married a man she met on the internet (12 years going strong so it can’t be that weird or bad!) I’m the one who had a baby and wanted her job back but it didn’t happen so I’m the one that had to leave the job she loved.

I’m the one who had depression, who’s beloved friend committed suicide. I was the one sobbing at her funeral wondering if I could have said or done anything differently. I’m the one who was forlorn for months afterwards. I’m the one who remembers her in a place where no-one knew her.

I’m the one who struggles with motherhood. I’m the one who loves her children so much that her heart could burst but I’m the one that finds full time motherhood difficult as I have melted into the shadows whilst those with more interesting work hold the spotlight. I’m the one who doesn’t know if she’s ever getting it right as the doubts are always near to the surface.

I’m the one who has the perfect life as lots of people tell me. But I’m the one who knows the truth that no-ones life is perfect if you just take the time to stand and look or delve just a little beneath the surface. Behind the façade I’m the one who looks out onto others lives and I’m the one who wonders…

I’m the one who writes and makes and teaches. I’m the one who needs creativity otherwise I am truly sad. Writing saves me, gets my thoughts out on paper -or into the computer at least.  I am the one who loves it that people what I write. You are reading so I thank you for making me happy.

We are all so much more than our superficial statistics of how old we are, how many children we have, where do we live and what do we do. I am the person who chooses the pink fabric to go with the green, the one who likes to live where there are no straight lines and loves to feel the breeze on my face when I wake up.

Maybe the question shouldn’t be ‘Who am I?’ maybe it needs to be ‘Am I who I want to be?’

I’m the one who doesn’t know…

 

15 Comments

  • Brilliant xxx

    • Thank you xx

      Are you having a go at the blog a day challenge?

  • Lovely! I love your blogs… You have inspired me to think about giving it a go!! Xxx

    • Give it a go – you never know what may come out! I sat down to write this this evening and I had no idea what I wanted to write before I started xx

    • I’m going to give it a go… Watch this space!

  • Emma, I love your writing. You have inspired me, although I have never written a blog before. Xx

  • Some beautiful, sad and many shared sentiments and feelings here. I never comment on peoples blogs, but felt I should after reading.
    ps, I love your blog – I really enjoy reading, and now even more so ;o)

  • Being a mother is the best and most important job in the world. It’s true that it isn’t very glamorous at times and you’re never quite sure if you’re getting it right because there is no manual, but your efforts will pay off in the end. It’s very rewarding to be a stay-at-home mom and your boys will be better adults because of it! 🙂

  • Wow… been reading your blogs and getting fb statuses now and again but really feel I have had an insight into ‘who you are’ with this one! Good on you for trying to get it all out, I have more in common with you than I ever thought, especially the part about working in a bar and drinking too much :), also think you are dead right about looking beyond the facade of people’s lives. Have tried a bit of blogging but mostly on a business perspective, maybe it would be quite therapeutic to have a personal one? Anyway, good luck with everything and keep making us think! x

  • Beautifully written and honest. Glad you have found things to make you truely happy xx

  • You are also the brave one who courageously shares her inner thoughts.
    Thank you xx

  • In the words of AA Milne “Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” Xx

  • What a fantastic start .. I’m just about to go and start my own PVB Challenge – dusting off an old blog. Checking out my fellow bloggers. You are inspiring and I am looking forward to reading more. Kay.

  • Truly inspirational. I love how honest you have been! I had never considered being this candid on my blog…maybe this is the therapy I always needed. Thank you xx

  • Hi Emma, your son in the picture looks just like you. Loved your honesty in this blog and I am sending you some virtual hugs. It couldn’t have been easy going through those challenging times. I find writing very therapeutic, I’ve been keeping a notebook/ diary since I was a teenager. It helps me clear my head and I like reading it back after a while.
    A really nice blog. Keep it up!

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